So often I think my little free spirit is growing up way too fast, then she gets out of her bubble bath and asks to be held like a baby. When we get past the quick snuggle that we have every time I give her a bath, I send her in her room to get dressed. She runs back out a few minutes later with just her chones doing a goofy dance that she made up last year in preschool to get a crying friend to laugh and uses all of the time on her own and asked if she could just have a chone day today. Normally in our busy lives this isn’t an option, but today the snow that was a staple of PNW winter, which hadn’t made an appearance, just wasn’t going to stop falling. It was Sunday, I didn’t have to work, she didn’t have school, daddy was at work, and for a very rare day, we actually had no reason that we had to leave the house, so I gave in. Chone day it was (for her, not me lol) so she threw her tiara on with her Frozen chones and started in on her happy dance while singing what she could remember of the theme from Into The Woods. There’s something so childish (in the best sense of the word) and innocent in her when she’s allowed her freedom that just amazes me, especially when I get to see it in my high-heel wearing, fashion and lip glossed obsessed kid who is begging to be skipped ahead in school because she just wants to grow up already. As willing as I am to let her explore all things girly and become her own person, I revel in the moments that she reminds me she is still just a Kindergartener with giggles, goofy voices, laughs, and a lot of love. I pray that I never accidentally stifle that spirit.
Welcome to my world. This is my blog, and it’s more for me than an audience as I journey towards growing up (so I have something out in the universe to keep me accountable for the changes I want to make in my life), but feel free to grow up with me. So since this is all about my growing up, I should give a jumping off point. Today I’m 25 years old, have been married for 2 years, have an 8 month old daughter (who chose today to crawl for the first time!), have owned my house for over a year, I’m a part-time medic in the military, and have been in school forever. So married with a house and a kid means grown up, right? Apparently not so much. I don’t feel it anyways.
I should also mention that this journey in my life it being fueled by a little bit of a personal slump. My house is a MESS, my body’s a mess, and pretty much every aspect of my life is disorganized chaos (except for my daughter’s closet because I LOVE baby clothes). Pretty much everything I’ve done in the last 9 months has completely revolved around Alexis (as it should be) but now I’m at a crossroads where I’m trying to remember who I was before I was “mama” and “wifey.” I also have more bad habits than I care to mention, the greatest of all being procrastination. Oh how I LOVE to procrastinate. I used to be a total gym rat and since about 2 days after I found out I was pregnant with Alexis, I have been focusing so much on taking care of her that I’ve completely neglected myself. It’s not that I’m fat, but I’m not as strong or as healthy as I used to be.
So lets see…. this is all about starting new habits for me and writing it here to keep me on track and motivated. Also, a little inspiration for this actually came from an episode of The Office (which I saw for the first time 3 weeks ago after my husband asked for the series on DVD for Christmas and I proceeded to do almost nothing but watch the 5 1/2 seasons one after another to get caught up because it really is an amazingly smart show — he’s now seriously regretting asking for it lol) where they watch a video of Michael talking about what he wanted to be when he grew up and you see he hasn’t done anything towards it. It really made me think about my life, where I am now, what I wanted when I was little, and what I want to teach my daughter about her own aspirations. That being said, in addition to continuing towards my nursing degree, I am going to go back to some acting as that was my dream as a child and it’s one of those things that I really miss doing. I started doing plays and classes when I was 3 and did it up until I did the Vagina Monologues a couple of years ago and I really miss it a lot. I saw the other day that there’s an improv class coming up in a few weeks and I’m all over it. I really can’t wait. It’s not that I want to be famous or even expect to make a living out of it by any means, especially living in Spokane, but I want to teach my daughter that there is always room in your life for the things that you’re passionate about.
There are really 2 parts to these habits, some are Internal Habits I need to make for myself, to be selfish again with my me time and taking care of myself (since I usually always take care of the baby first) and my health and happiness, and the others are External Habits for my family (i.e. school, house, etc). So I guess I should get down to it.
Internal habits for this week (or what’s left of it): I want to work out a little everyday, drink more water, and eat less junk.
External habits for this week (ditto): I want to get the rest of the laundry all caught up. Well I guess I should break it down and say, I want to get 2 loads of laundry done a day. I know this sounds lame, but you have no idea how much laundry we have in our house. My husband and I have 4 closets full of clothes (mostly mine), plus the baby’s hamper is almost full (her laundry is always caught up since we do everything for her before we do anything for ourselves).
So yeah that was hopefully the longest entry you’ll ever see here again so I’m gonna head off to start working on my new habits.